What happens when a marriage hits the rocks and dissolves in the currents of time? You will find the space that once used to shelter a happy couple filled with memories of a painful past. It is often the case that we attribute an emotional attachment to things and it can be a sore exercise to observe the division of these attachments in divorce.
However, not all is gloomy when it comes to a post-divorce home. Redecorating the house you once shared with a loved one, or decorating a new space can turn to be a pain relieving exercise in which you redefine the sense of self and identity and swallow the bitter taste of separation. As a home built in the image of two will require compromise and shared principles, starting anew as a singleton offers a great opportunity to reset and reaffirm who you are.
Hence, today we decided to offer a hand to the people that have been released from the bonds of marriage in designing their post-divorce home.
The first step after a divorce should be to embrace your new status as a single individual. That implies your decisions will not be squeezed in a compromising box. In the case of your home, the new status grants you an opportunity to shape it according to your whims.
After you have decided whether you are leaving or staying, sit down, release your tormenting thoughts from the divorce and draft a plan on how your house will look. First things first, make a list of how you will division the possessions. Having cleared the space from stuff you don’t need, think what new should be incorporated into the home.
But before endeavouring in any decorative changes, it is better if you made a comprehensive research on the style you wish to impose on your home. As in the image above, a classic décor has different requirements in colour schemes and furniture, than let’s just say a rustic interior. To understand the new style of your home, take advice from interior design magazines and websites!
As it is the case with divorces, there is one that stays behind and one that moves forward. In case you are staying behind, it’s time to reclaim the home as yours. Show the door to the furniture you don’t like and introduce to the home new purchases.
There are extensive studies illustrating the effects of light on augmenting the mood, thus make room for natural or artificial light which will brighten up the house. As it is a time of healing, good lighting can help you steer away from mental dead ends.
Similarly, colour schemes can also be mood modifiers, hence choose your favourite colour and make it a theme in your home. And don’t underestimate the effects of nature in general happiness! A few pots with flowers in your new interior design can have a great impact on you.
In case you are the one leaving, don’t waste effort and time in taking with you furniture that you don’t really like out of spit or vengeful feelings. Always remember that you are not losing the home of your life, but just a home. Hence devote your energy to find the right new home. Depending on your needs and the extent of your family, the new place can be a loft, as in the image above, or a double room apartment that can welcome your kids.
The new house will give you a clear cut start and since you are already trying to deal with some strong emotions, make sure it will fully represent you. Most homes give you an option of furnished, semi-furnished or unfurnished.
Depending on your budget, choose the option that will better suit you and invest you effort and time in decorating according to your taste. If you have children, then perhaps it’s better to choose a neighbourhood that will make their visits easier and it’s close to their schools.
Compromising plays a big part when decorating a house as a couple. Hence, your pottery sculptures or your football collectible cards are usually ostracised by the other half. Keeping in line with the new beginnings sentiment, you have an opportunity to bring novel elements which define who you are, without the need to justify their place in the house.
Remember that swinging chair you always wanted in the living room? Well, now is the time to bring it home. Or perhaps, you wished to fill the walls with art. Who is stopping you? Despite the heartbreak, you are given a chance to truly define yourselves inside the home, without having to fight over décor with someone else for 10 rounds!
It goes without saying that the objects which will surround you, should bring you a sense of happiness. Family photos of early childhood or trips you have taken that have been entrenched in memory can find a central place inside the home. Place upon a chest of drawers in your living room artefacts and heirlooms that remind you of happy times
Perhaps, at least at the beginning where the scars of separation are still bleeding, your ex’s photos should be kept out of sight. But of course, you can always take the high road and embrace the past as a part of you. In any case, the memorabilia that will surround you should leave a feel good sense behind.
Perhaps, the most difficult part of a divorce is not the couple that splits, but the children who are left behind. In a bloody separation, the emotional state of the offspring can be shackled severely. Hence, it is best, to have an amicable divorce and allow the kids to have in their environment both parents.
That means, the one leaving the house, who is usually the father, should design a spare room in the new place for his kids to visit. Most courts will, after all, impose on the parent to create room for his children, whether it is a daughter or a son. Hence, since you are decorating anew, why not take some interior design advice from your kids on how they want their room to look? We are certain they will have some brilliant ideas!
Even in the darkest moments, one can find a silver lining to hold on to. In the case of divorce, the opportunity to redefine yourselves by making a house completely yours is definetly a silver lining on the horizon.